Monday was a glorious day with weather far too good to sit in an office. Sadly I did not have much choice, but when the big hand made its’ way past the 12 for the eighth time I shut down the PC and headed for the car park in a cloud of dust.

An hour later, after going to the hotel to drop off the work laptop and change into walking garb, I was driving down a lane across the Northumberland Moors near Derwent Reservoir. The car was still telling me the temperature was 19C (66F) and my GPS was guiding me to a footpath that, in turn, would take me to the first geocache in a series of three, each of which would provide a little more information so that I could find the hidden fourth cache in the "Lost Sheep" series.

I parked at the recommended spot (A on map), by the side of a narrow, unfenced lane. The moors in the area were very open with good views in all directions and the path I was to take lead uphill away from the road. I organised my stuff into my rucksack, this was a fairly remote spot and it seemed prudent to ensure I had appropriate kit just in case. Walking trainers on, car locked, key clipped inside rucksack pocket and rucksack on. Time to go. I crossed the lane and set off up the path. Within five yards I was between gorse bushes; the two buildings I had been able to see from the car were now out of sight and the road was very quiet. Clothes were no longer required so they were quickly transferred into the bag.

The path rose out of the gorse fairly quickly, leaving me visible from the road and the two houses, however I decided I was far enough away to be reasonably confident I would not be seen at all, let alone well enough that anyone could tell what I was (not) wearing.

The track went on up the hill then curved right behind a slight rise that concealed me from the road and houses. I was now out of sight from every direction unless another walker was on the same track, unlikely given the time of day and distance from any other road access points. The ground was largely covered by heathers with small outcrops of rock strewn around. There were a few sheep grazing rough and lots of grouse wandering comically about, as is their wont.

The sun was still warm on my skin as I strolled easily up the track, occasionally checking my GPS to ensure I did not miss the cache. Apart from the bird calls, the only sound to be heard was an occasional car on one of the distant roads. If anyone is after advice on the design of heaven, they could start by studying this moorland in warm sunny weather…

After about twenty minutes I reached the cache site (B on map), dropped my rucksack and started to search for the cache itself. It took a couple of minutes to find, but was soon logged and the secret numbers noted ready for the bonus cache. I turned back towards the car again, wondering whether it would be possible to stay naked all the way.

I suddenly remembered that I had left my camera and a small tripod in my rucksack. There was enough light for a quick picture or two…

Pictures taken, I repacked the tripod, leaving the camera out to see if I could get any decent shots of a grouse. No good shots, they were not keen to let me get close; this is the best of the few I took:

As I descended, I kept looking and listening for any signs of life; nothing. No cars, no walkers, just endless tranquillity. Utter bliss. Almost before I realised it I was back at the car, unlocking it and setting the GPS for the second cache in the series, a couple of miles away. I did not bother to dress, just drove on to the next parking spot (C), by the side of a rather bigger and busier road. I had to wait for a moment to allow a couple of cars to pass, then seeing that the road was empty for at least a mile in either direction, I stepped out, picked up my rucksack and set off along the track to the next cache. This cache was down in a valley below the road and for the first few hundred yards I’d be fairly close to the road and visible. One car went past in that time, but the sun was behind me and I felt no need for any other cover.

The track crossed a small ford, too deep to want to go through with foot wear on. However, I spotted a set of large rocks apparently set out as stepping stones a few yards upstream and used those to cross with dry feet. The sun was getting low now and in the valley I was in shade so the temperature started to fall a little, however it was still a very comfortable walking temperature. The cache was reached after about 15 minutes (D). This one was an easy find despite being a “micro” (about the size of a 35mm film canister (anyone else remember those? What a weird idea; chemical cameras… I think I saw one in a museum once 😀 ) )

Once I’d logged the cache and noted the extra numbers I returned to the car. Again I was able to go all the way with no cover up required and so drove on towards the third site still naked. The next cache was about three miles away as the crow flies, but nearly six miles by road. On route I realised I would drive past another small cache (E), so I parked up to find that one, leaving the car naked, with just my GPS and a pen to sign the log. There was a tractor working in a field about 200 yards away, but in the fast failing light I reckoned I was invisible from that distance. It took me ten  minutes or so to find and log the cache; one car went past in that time, about 50 yards away, but I did not take any avoiding action and there was no sign that I was seen.

The third cache in the “Lost Sheep” series was close to a reservoir. I intended to park in the visitor area and walk about half a mile to the cache, however in the event I decided to drive up the track right to the cache (F). Have you ever noticed that hire cars are so much better than your own car when it comes to dealing with serious potholes?

There was no one around and again I was able to leave the car naked and unencumbered apart from a pen to retrieve the cache and sign the log. I now had all the numbers for the final cache in the series so I plugged them into my GPS to see where the cache was and decide whether to go and look for it tonight or leave it for another day.

The final cache was only a mile away (G), so I decided to go and look at the terrain before making up my mind whether to try and retrieve it or not. It was completely dark by this time, with an astonishingly clear sky and no street lighting; the sliver of the new moon accompanied by Jupiter and Venus bright in the sky added to the magic of being out naked in nature. There was no way I was not going to go and look for the final cache.

As I drove slowly down a lane looking for a suitable spot to pull off and park I was caught up by a couple of Landrovers, I pulled over to let them past, dropping an Ordinance Survey map over my lap to explain (without words) that I was a tourist who’d missed a turn. Both drivers waved as they passed but paid no further attention to me. I parked up and let a third 4x4 go past before leaving the car, rucksack and big torch in hand. Over the stile and I was out of sight behind a high dry-stone wall, no need to worry about cars on the lane any more.

I used a small torch to see what was underfoot as I headed down to the cache site; a ruined stone farm building (The big torch, 1,000,000 candle power, is very effective for searching, but may also draw attention I don't need and has only a limited burn time, so I always have two small LED lights when I'm out caching at night). Once out of the sparse trees I decided I did not need the torch any more and switched it off about a minute before standing in a mud hole deep enough to swallow me up to knee height. Hmmm... OK keep the lights on for now. (Think of that as a step function on the learning curve).

I found a stream and rinsed the mud off, then continued to the cache site. It only took a few minutes to find the final cache and sign the log; then back to the car, remove muddy trainers and put them in a plastic bag in the boot, no need to make the car dirty if I can avoid it.

Reluctantly I dressed before returning to the hotel. There was a large group of colleagues staying last night and I was not prepared to risk being seen by them returning as nature intended; the potential fall out was just too high to take that risk. In all I’d found 5 caches without dressing or covering up and had just over two hours out walking naked. Somehow, even a Monday can feel good when looking back on it after an evening like that.

Have fun,

Ian.