I began this thread last year to give an insight into the things I have to put up with whilst working on the beach during the season, and, having been there for almost a week again, things haven't got any better so its time to resurrect the thread.

Today, the beach was reasonably full but it was really hot, in the low/mid thirties. Four Chinese (looking) ladies came asking about sunbed rentals so i told them the price for the four of them would be 24 Euros. They were dressed in long dresses, cardigans!!!! and sunhats, and each of them carried a parasol. They sat down and after a few minutes i went over to collect the rental fee. handing it over, one said "It's too hot," I agreed that it was very warm today and was about to move off to collect more money when a second one asked if there was somewhere cooler. I suggested they move out of the direct sun into the shade of the umbrellas but they told me it was still too hot there. "Is there anywhere cooler?" one asked hopefully. I looked around the beach and said unfortunately, I couldn't control the temperature. "What about in the restaurant?" another asked. "Has it got air conditioning?" How people expect air con in an open air restaurant i don't know, but they were quite insistent that it was too hot and they needed somewhere cooler. "Perhaps you could try having a swim," I suggested, knowing the sea was still quite cool. "Is it cold?" She asked. "Yes, it was last week." I responded. "But that might make my make up smear," one replied, "I can't go in the water."  'Hmmmmmmm!' I thought, 'No swimming, the shade is too hot, the restaurant has no A/C - now what do I suggest?' "Perhaps the beach is the wrong place for you," I said tongue in cheek. "Yes, I think you are right," one replied, "come girls, we will go to the hotel and sit in the room."  They left! - I was 24 Euros better off for five minutes on the sun bed and managed to re-let both to people who appreciate the sun.  What do folks expect when they come to Greece in mid summer? Arctic conditions? Ah well, lets see what tomorrow brings, hopefully not four Chinese ladies who don't like the sun!!!!!!

You certainly get to meet them, Peter.

It's not only foreigners that are stupid - The English are too!

Today was another hot day on the beach and we had a few different nationalities there. I had let a couple of sunbeds and an umbrella to an English couple and after a few words of small talk with them, wandereed away to collect more money. As i walked back, I saw the man trying to wrest the umbrella out of the sand. "What are you doing!" I asked - "it takes us ages to plant the umbrellas, each one weighs about 100 kilos and we bury the base at least one metre in the sand to stop it blowing over."

"It's too cold!" he told me (it was about 33 today!) "I need some sun!"

"Wouldn't it be easier to move the sun-loungers out of the shade rather than try to dig out the umbrella?" I asked.

"Hmmmm never thought of that!"

At Glystra Beach on Rhodes, there were 2 very, very large Russian women in the water and I swear, when they got back on the beach the water level dropped!  I also thank the gods that they were wearing one piece costumes cos a bikini that size makes me shudder to think it!

;D  I love your beach stories Peter  8)

;D  I love your beach stories Peter  8)

Even after a week of listening to them?  o) l:l s:

In the words of Victor Meldrew - "I DO NOT BELIEVE IT!"

And neither will you but I swear it happened today!  Talk about bureaucracy gone mad!

It was quite busy on the beach today. The hotel next door to us had a wedding party in and they had pre-booked (and paid for) nine umbrellas and their sunbeds and as it happened, they wanted an additional six. By mid afternoon i had approximately 80 Umbrellas in use, the sun was out, and it was quite hot. People were relaxing and I was having a few minutes of a well earned rest when they arrived.

The Jobsworth's

Two representatives of the local fire department came, presented their credentials and began to ask questions.
"How many sets do you have on the beach?"
"85," I answered, but we have some additional loungers I can put out as necessary."
Fireman number one scanned the beach, consulting a chart he had taken from his briefcase. "According to the submission made last year, you have seventy plus additional beds."
"Yes, last year we had seventy but realised it wasn't enough so we rented more space and put an additional 15 in. I have 11 here on the back and an extra one on the end of each row. the paperwork for the extra space is inside if you need to see it. the local council should have informed you in their submission as to what was rented here this year and the numbers of spaces I am taking."
I don't think he believed me because he walked all around the beach counting the beds. When he got back he started his jobsworth act.
"You have no fire exit signs," he told me.
I frowned  - after all it's a beach. "Um no, I didn't think I needed them."
"When you cater for more than 150 people you are required by law to display fire exits." He stated jotting notes on his pad of paper. "Where would the people know where to run if there was a fire?"
"Perhaps the sea?" I replied sarcastically.
"And if they couldn't get to the sea?"
(Am I missing something here? It's a beach, fifteen metres wide with the sea at one side of it.)
"Why wouldn't they be able to get to the sea?" I asked, by this time losing patience with their idiotic questions.
"There may be a fire!"
"Where?" I asked. Jobsworth waved his arms about.
"Anywhere."
I shook my head in disbelief but before I had chance to say anything he continued.
"What would you do if there was a fire? Do you have extinguishers on site?"
(Is this guy taking the P or what???)
I played along. "Well that depends on what kind of fire it was, I have water available."
"Where?" he asked looking around.
I pointed to the front of me, looking at the expanse of the Aegean stretching to the horizon. "There!"
"Hmmmm. And what if that wasn't available?
(Now i know he is taking the P) "Is it likely to dry up?" I asked.
"Perhaps not, but what if it was an electrical fire? What precautions do you have for that?"
"I don't have electricity on the beach." I said.
"But supposing there was an electrical fire, how would you deal with it?"
I shrugged, "I suppose I would throw sand on it."
"Where are your sand buckets?" he asked.
(Now I know he is taking the P big time - either that or he is completely thick!)
"Why do I need a sand bucket when we are stood on millions of tons of it?"
"You have to have sand buckets and water extinguishers if you cater for over 150 people."
As luck had it, I had a child's sandcastle bucket by my seat. I pointed to it hopefully. "Sand bucket and water bucket?"
He shook his head and made more notes.
"And an oil fire? how would you deal with one of those?"
(FFS! Is this guy real?)
"Where would I have an oil fire? I have no oil on the beach."
"One of the boats anchored in the bay may discharge oil and it could catch light."
"IF - a boat inadvertently discharged oil and IF it accidentally caught fire, I'd use sand on it." I told him, by this time getting extremely p*d off.
"And the sand would come from the beach?"
"Yes!"
"Do you have a licence to use the beach sand?"
"I pay rent for 500 square metres of beach, I suppose that entitles me to use it as I see fit. If I need to move some from point A to point B I don't need to apply for a transport licence."
"So at the end of the day," he said smirking, "you have no established fire controls on the beach and no emergency exit signs. Is that correct?"
What could I say? he was correct. I shrugged.
"We will make our report and you will hear from us in due course."
I wait with baited breath to see how much the authorities are going to fine me for having no water, sand or emergency exit signs on a beach!

If anyone else has ever seen sand buckets, water buckets or emergency exit signs on a beach ANYWHERE in the world, please let me know.

I said you wouldn't believe it, but it happened to me today! Apart from that it was a good day on the beach, hot sun, plenty of people and lots of tips and the best news is, - I have a day off tomorrow!

Had to read this twice cause the first time the tears were streaming down my face...
Thanks Peter.
😀😀😀

These are so funny Peter and surely the fire safety inspector or prevention and protection officer as they are being called over here has been set up or part of a joke.

Do you think they might have been set up for it by somebody back at the depot?

I reads to me a bit like the factory apprentices who are sent down to stores for a long weight (or wait).

It is a possibility Simon and John, although they didn't look like new recruits, both were middle aged. Who knows what goes on in Greece! I'm sure i don't

great score for a music hall sketch. as a wise after thought you could have ssked if he smoked. if yes how did he light a cigarette he would have to say match or lighter. then you could have told him to leave your area as he was a fire hazzard  just a thought!!!!!

We have more like them in Spain Peter !!

It would make a good Monty Python sketch, or perhaps Candid Camera !

I think they were laughing out loud all the way back to the firestation 🙂
It can't be greek bureaucracy, right??  ;D