Rovinj 2016 or the return to the very crowded hysterical (Istrian)region.

It really wasn’t my choice to go in flaming August but had to.

Wasn’t my choice to go with flipping Mr Ryanair again but he was only just vaguely affordable to get to Pula, whereas Jet 2 from Leeds required a signing over of life blood.

Wasn’t my choice to fly back from bloody Trieste either but had to even though last time we did under Tony Blair I declared that I would rather poke my innards out with a blunt fish fork rather than go back to that ineffably charming city that makes Port Said look like St Tropez.

Anyway.

There is a sort of holiday report to report for the 4 people interested on here so let’s clear the decks on Rovinj. At least that does not change, except as the society person said about Dunkirk; my dear, the noise and the people. When we first visited Rovinj and Croatia in 2003, it was just us, 5 Slovenians, 20 Italians and 50 Germans. Now the whole world and his dog are there. One restaurant when we eventually got some post dinner conversation in September (the first week there was hollow eyed and panicked looks in local eyes as when the first torpedo exploded on Lusitania) said because of various ructions in well known trouble spots like Turkey, North Africa and yes, even France, they had had one of their best ever years with 3 million visitors in Rovinj alone up to August. No wonder there was no food to be had when we got there. Well, eventually there was, though like everybody else I had gone on Trip Advisor and switched in between 6 up to date reliable restaurants, so we had doomed ourselves to waiting for a table more often than not, which did tend to pall a bit, but there was usually a bar handy. No wonder this report is going to make even less sense than normal. I haven’t even mentioned the naturist word yet, which I know is annoying the 4 people reading so I will go another paragraph without discussing beaches.

Oh yeah, one damp cloudy day we went to Pula which we hadn’t visited since 2003 when it was just us, 5 Slovenians ..etc, and saw the amphitheatre again and other Roman shtuff and all that jazz. The dead hand of commercialism had hit there with 2 Romans posing for pics, and stupid wally I am, I didn’t take my student card and had left it in the apartment which would have saved me 30 kuna or 4 quid on admissions. You can tell I am going to be money obsessive in this report but with an exchange rate about as powerful as a dead haddock alongside unaccustomed high season prices, accompanying the continual boosting of Rovinj as a four star or higher only resort (the last three star hotel will be gone next year) it figured a lot in my part Jewish brain the first week at least with the small consolation that at least for the first time in my life I was getting holiday pay. Also found James Joyce in a statue outside a café which housed an English language school where he stuck it for 5 months in 1904 before scarpering to Trieste declaring Pula to be a backwater populated by ignorant Slavs. Oirish snob. One massive bonus in Pula. Saw the newish seaplane service take off. Fantastic.

On to the n word. Well, only Valalta –and Koversada- to talk about there. Did go to Red Island the first afternoon on landing which was mixed textile and not (but a good ratio for August) but there is only so much to be said about rocks even though there are some on here who enjoy them, so we shall move on to Valalta, where most days were spent. Unadventurous of us I know, but though on the far flung galaxies of Dalmatian islands we are used to scrambling over rocks and wading around headlands and squeezing through crevices and falling down ravines, there is something to be said for getting a little bus to Valalta, and riding in it for 10 minutes. Tame and boring I agree. But restful. I woke up sharpish though on seeing the admission charge up until September the first. 75 kuna, which together with the bus fare it was costing £12 a day each to get into the place. Cue Monty Python; I remember getting in for 2 pounds…aye, we really did. Of course then, there were no poncy swim up bars, bars where you sat in chairs with your feet in water, landscaped infinity pools, luxury washrooms with auto spotlights, and the apartments were still painted an endearing shade of battleship grey with shooting alleys in between very reminiscent of Stalag Luft 3. I know some of us there when Peng was on the go were pretending to shake the sand out of trouser legs. Now they are all shades of Mr Whippy and designer makeovered. Millions has been spent there. I can assure those of the old school though that if they want to experience naturism as it was under Tito, it is alive and well over at Koversada where millions has not been spent. There was a later bus from Vrsar back to Rovinj in August so decided to get over and see the place as never have yet in 12 years. Have never seen Vrsar yet ether over several fish picnics as I stagger off in a blind stupor along the quayside and I still can’t tell you anything about it this year so sorry to disappoint. Still, if I was able to tell you anything about it, the fish picnic would have been rubbish.

Koversada cost 20 kuna to get in. That was a good bit. We then had to hike about 15 minutes to get to the beach bit passing 1961 vintage apartment blocks which I think must be kept as they were for a joke. Maybe they are listed. Or it’s a joke. Nobody would possibly pay to stay in them. The tree cover was massive. Eventually found the more modern camp side with, and it must be said a very nice beach area. The sea water was better than Valalta’s. One vaguely trendy lounge bar which was the sole concession to modernity.  Pitches seemed quite crammed in, though nice outlook. The big downer was the supermarket which was weirdly empty. Is it all kept as a homage to communist days? Valalta has its own wine and beer on tap to fill your own bottles with, along with superb deli counters to get exact cuts in a very well stocked supermarket , but this was a sad sorry thing, and I wouldn’t fancy trying to self cater out of it. But an interesting change.

Valalta fish picnics. Did two I think.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Singing Roll out the Barrel to the accordion in two different languages was an interesting experience. So was the Captain of the boat, Daniel giving me what he termed a small fish when I asked for one, which was a mackerel the size of Flipper.

Another cloudy day at Valalta we did the new spa, sauna, steam room, pool. Yes, they have that now as well. Had to get 30 kuna each (****) admission for that and when I said sauna, the face in reception was blank, then I realised and said sowna. Dawn of recognition. The Germans unbent a bit in there. Just as well, as beginning to feel we had leprosy for all the attention we got outside. They love doing their aufguss. They love their beer breakfast as well at 9am on Sunday with the oompah stuff going.

I heard one Brit couple on the beach there the first day. Was so startled, I didn’t speak, and never saw them again.

Wonderful to see so many children of all ages un self-consciously enjoying the delights of Valalta and riding bikes and walking alone without a care. Naturism has never made as much sense to me here or in an adult environment. That to me is the true spirit of it.

Trieste.  4 nice streets of Hapsburg buildings in 10 miles of horror. Unexpectedly found a free exhibition of vintage travel and ocean liner adverts of the Edwardians through to the 30s covering Trieste to the Croatian coast in a museum which made it look even worse. Found James Joyce again, in another statue. Trieste must have been a lot better when he was there in 1906 whenever.

Great time as always. People lovely (when they had the time to talk in September). Town was beautiful. Found a stunning new bar Meditteraneo right on the shoreline in the town…wonderful. Don’t expect to find many Brits, moaning or otherwise. Came across two couples at a table next to us once but they were both totally boring as in Howard and Hilda in Ever Decreasing Circles so didn’t fall metaphorically on their shoulders.  Rovinj and Valalta still heartily and warmly recommended, but maybe we need to head to quieter islands for that period, at least if it is August. Still, we now know what to expect.